Marathons of Life

A hazy layer of heat radiated from the hot pavement beneath the pounding of my feet. Sweat dripped off every edge of my body, soaking through the wicking material that made up my shorts and shirt. A hot spot smarted on the back of my right heel from the wear in my Nike running shoes. I was sure to have an angry blister when this was through. Still, I kept pounding out the miles, step by step, keeping my pace on even keel - my goal being an eight- or nine-minute mile. Not too fast, but not too slow either. I kept my eyes focused on a fixed point ahead of me; just get to the stop sign ahead, now just to the end of the block, now just to the end of this street, etc. It was anything to keep my mind focused on finishing my first 10k in less than an hour. Considering how tired I was, I felt pretty good; that is, until I turned a tight corner and faced a huge hill. As I looked up, I couldn't see the top. All the energy drained away from me. I wanted to stop and not go any further. I was on my last two miles in the race. I kept going. I made up my mind that I was going to get to the top, step by grueling step.

It was just a 10k, but I finished it. Not only did I finish, I placed in the top four racers in my age group. I placed in the top 10 in the overall standings for women. I finished in 54 minutes and a few odd seconds. Victory! I realize for the next race, I will have to practice climbing to beat my own time. Now I will have to start training for the half-marathon and after that, for the marathon. And then keep beating my own time.

Why would anyone want to do this? Because it is tangible proof that hard work, motivation and goals can overcome the obstacles in life. It isn't about winning; it's about finishing and ultimately overcoming. There was once a time in my life when I was too sick to run one mile, much less six miles. It doesn't matter if I can't see the top of the mountain; I am going to get to the top step by step. This is how I've come to view all obstacles in my life since having and surviving cancer. First is the surgery, then the several-month-long schedule of radiation treatments and finally, learning how to live life again when it is all over with. Just like in a long run, I focus my eyes on what's just ahead until I have reached it, then to the next, until I've crossed that finish line.

In my own life, being diagnosed with cancer was definitely a huge hill around a tight bend, one where I couldn't even fathom the top. Just several months prior, I had graduated with my Master's degree and was struggling to find my first career job in a wavering economy. I was lucky to have secured a job; though it was not in my chosen field, it paid the bills. Several months later, the diagnosis came. My first thought was not whether I was going to live, but how I was going to pay for treating this disease along with a huge student loan! Silly how we don't consider the bigger picture sometimes. Though I had insurance, there are huge deductibles and percentages. My surgery came just before Christmas, which meant I would pay the deductible for that year, and then turn around a week or so later and pay it again for the New Year!

I was depressed about the money part only for so long. All that changed when I began going to my radiation treatments and waiting in a room full of sick people, also awaiting their treatments. I stopped worrying about money after that. It dawned on me that I needed to live first to pay those bills. Years later, I am still making payments on medical bills but I know that, like running, I can overcome these bills a little step at a time. Life revolves around a series of smaller goals to accomplish your dreams. Each obstacle becomes another opportunity to persevere and test my endurance, like another 10k. Maybe I won't win in the end but I will finish, and if I end up not finishing, I will at least have given it all I've got.